


The Last Horcrux

by crantabulous



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-24
Updated: 2014-05-24
Packaged: 2018-01-26 09:53:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1684070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crantabulous/pseuds/crantabulous
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hermione has a theory. Harry just needs to learn to chew with his mouth closed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Last Horcrux

**Author's Note:**

> Harry Potter etc. belong to JK Rowling. Written for the third round of McKay's Candy Is Dandy Challenge back in February 2007 (prompt: "Harry and sherbet lemons").

Harry paced circles around the Headmaster's office, crunching sherbet lemons viciously between his teeth. Hermione sat at Dumbledore's desk, flipping through one of his journals and occasionally shooting irritated glances in Harry's direction.

"Would it be possible for you to stand still and chew like human being, rather than charging about and gnawing on those things like a deranged hippogriff?" she finally asked.

Harry paused his pacing for a moment. "No," he said shortly, popping another sherbet lemon into his mouth and chomping through it with vigor. "I'm trying to think like Dumbledore. He ate these things all the time. Maybe this will help."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Doubtful. Besides, I'm sure Dumbledore was much quieter when he ate them. He had pretty good table manners for an eccentric."

"I don't know, Hermione," Ron piped up from his spot on the floor. "Did you ever check out his beard on days when they served soup in the Great Hall? It was pretty disgusting."

"You're not helping," Hermione said. "All that aside, I don't think it's possible for anyone to think like Dumbledore did. The man was brilliant."

The implied insult went straight over Harry's head. "Look, Hermione," he said. "The pacing and crunching are helping me think, all right? Let it go."

"Fine," Hermione huffed. "I just don't see why you can't just suck on them like a normal person."

Harry responded by resuming his circuit of the room and cracking the next sherbet lemon particularly loudly.

Harry's footfalls and crunching noises were eventually joined by the whispery sound of pages turning as Hermione went back to her book. Ron tapped his quill against the floor in time with the beat of Harry's pacing until Hermione shot him an icy glare, and he went back to copying references onto a sheet of parchment with a sheepish look of apology.

For several minutes, no one said anything. Lulled by the white noise and Harry's clockwork-like pacing, Ron's eyes drifted closed. Harry started on another sherbet lemon.

"The sherbet lemons are a horcrux!"

Hermione's exclamation jolted Ron back to full consciousness, and he sat up so suddenly that he knocked his head against the wall. Harry just stopped in his tracks and stared at her with his mouth open, half-chewed sherbet lemon still visible on his tongue.

"What?" Harry asked, stupidly.

Ron glanced at Hermione warily. "I don't think so," he said.

"No, think about it!" Hermione said, standing up. "Dumbledore said that horcruxes would be made out of something significant, and imagine the sort of perverse pleasure Voldemort would get from using Dumbledore's beloved sherbet lemons for his own nefarious purposes!"

Harry and Ron shared a look.

Hermione scowled at them. "What, Harry's the only one allowed to have crazy theories?" she asked.

Harry swallowed the rest of the sherbet lemon. "Yeah, but I was actually right about Malfoy," he said.

"And I could be right about this!" Hermione insisted. She grabbed the candy dish out of Harry's hands and held it up to eye level. "I'm on to you, you bastard," she muttered.

Ron sighed. "Look, Harry was right about Malfoy--"

"I was completely right about Malfoy," Harry interrupted. "And I'm sure you're sorry for doubting me now. But using Dumbledore's sherbet lemons as a horcrux seems..."

"Risky," Ron finished. "I mean, that's a little too hidden in plain sight, don't you think?"

Hermione crumpled back down into the chair. "I don't know. Maybe you're right."

"You should get more sleep," Ron said.

Harry picked up one of the sherbet lemons and popped it into his mouth.

Hermione leaned over the desk and placed her head in her hands so that her face was hidden by her hair. "I suppose Voldemort wouldn't put his soul where anyone could just walk by and eat it," she said in a small voice.

"Or else that's why his followers are called 'Death Eaters,'" Ron sniggered.

"Death Eaters!" Harry exclaimed. "Gah! I may have just eaten part of Voldemort's soul!" Harry spat shards of half-chewed candy out on to the rug and scrubbed at his tongue with his sleeve.

Hermione allowed herself a small smile before schooling her expression and looking back up at the boys. "Harry, you're not a Death Eater. I'm sure there wasn't a piece of Voldemort's soul hidden away inside that boiled sweet."

Harry continued to wipe at his tongue. "I need to go clean out my mouth," he said, muffled through a mouthful of cotton. He headed out the door, still making little "bleagh" noises and rubbing his sleeve across the lower half of his face.

Hermione pulled Dumbledore's journal back towards herself and began reading again. "Much better," she said.

Ron stared at her. "You're evil," he said, full of awe.

Hermione held the candy dish out to him and smiled sweetly. "Sherbet lemon?" she asked.


End file.
